Do you Narrate Stories to your Kids?

Yes, make it a habit to narrate stories to your children everyday. The best time slot is one after dinner. Stories stimulate thought processes in your children. They enable children develop their listening ability. Besides they enable children turn communicative. Children listen to stories and appreciate the good actions of the characters there in. The stories format the values and imbibe discipline in children. You may not be able to see immediate returns but they will make a long term impact on the character of children.

I always relished the bed time ritual of my grandpa who used to narrate beautiful stories every day sitting in the veranda of our house in his easy chair. These stories used to wrap up each day with a wonderful sense of well being. Sometimes he used to narrate his own life experiences and at other times stories from great epics Ramayana and Mahabharata or from treasury of stories that are the Bhagavata and the Panchatantra.

The style of his narration, I still remember, used to be naive. He used to bring in new words and use them in right context. He used to speak for different characters and the lucid interesting conversation used to keep us live on our toes.

In summer, we used to sit in the yard after dinner. We had no electricity in those days and it used to be dark. We used to carry our chairs and arrange them in a semicircle. He never used to scare us, and we never dreaded darkness. At times, whenever there was an interval we used to throw our heads back and wonder at the innumerable number of stars in the sky.

My grandpa used to render a touch of philosophy too as the stories unfurled, most of which were reflections from his own life. I always used to wonder at his ability to tell great stories. Clad in a simple dhoti and jubba, he was as simple as the messages in his stories.

Providing enough story books is one thing, but bringing alive the stories in them via narration totally transports the children to another magical world where there imagination runs free and enhances their thinking abilities.

'Sciencing' with kids

As parents, let us not forget that science thrives on experiments and activities. Science is the how and why of things.

Young children should have scope for innumerable activites. Adults should never have the temptation to give out all the information before its pertinence ever occurs to children.

Science ought to be fun, adventure. Once while I was teaching in highschool, we had an opportunity to put up science exhibits for the All India children's Exhibition organised by National Council for Education Research and Training, New Delhi. I selected a few students to work on the project and they had to stay back after the school hours. One of the students who was scoring well in exams said "I do like to stay and work, Sir, but my mother doesn't want me to join. I am supposed to get a rank in the Tenth Standard Examination". This parent never understood the true nature of Science and how her kid's study should progress. She wanted her kid to be a bookworm, a walking encyclopaedia. She never wanted her child to have any fun.

Let us understand well that science is better learnt through activities, experiences, experiments and projects.

Children's experiences need to be real, concrete and tangiable. We should never get carried away by just contents and facts. Link experiences to children's life. Then they will feel a desire to know.

Remember, these young children will control the world tomorrow. Then they need to develop a better understanding of natural and physical phenomena. There is great drive on the part of children to know and get answers.We need to nurture the ability of kids to ask questions and seek answers.

I have seen kids expressing, "I have lots of questions, but our teacher asks us to keep shut!" Encourage children to ask questions. Keep yourselves cool, patient and discuss with them. Time spent on answering children's questions is in no way a waste of time.

Attitudes, Values and Strategy

I see lots of children not performing well. Many parents feel that it is the heredity or the genes children inherit that count. When I underwent teachers' training in the seventies, my psychology professor did say,

"Talent without training is ability lost,

Training without talent is labour lost"

I remember, we debated on this issue over days. Ultimately we concluded that both heredity and environment are important in the making of a kid.

But my experiences as a teacher have proved it the other way. Genes do count in deciding the performance but they are not everything.

Today, I tell in parents' meetings, "Help your kid develop right mental make up, right values and right strategy". How can it happen? Do we have some simple means? The answer is in the affirmative. To put the strategy in a nutshell,

1. Praise, support and encourage your kid. Keep warm relations. Inspire your kid and build up self-esteem.
2. Teach your kid, don't blame. Negative approaches always fail.
3. Keep assessing your child's strengths and provide varied opportunities.
4. Teach your kid techniques of relaxation, concentration and performing with greater efficiency.
5. Remind your child of success and steps to it.

Never goad your child with bribes, guilt, fear of failure, unhealthy competitive spirit, revenge or shortcuts.

Parents role in their kid's schooling years

The math teacher of class VI handed over the marks sheet of the periodical test to me. As usual the teacher's comment was that the children are not putting in the required efforts. No doubt, she was a duty bound lady ! A superficial study of the score sheet did not reveal much. It needed a diagnostic study. I discussed the issue with the teacher and pinned down the problem to a few specific areas, such as

• How many kids are sure of multiplication tables?
• How many kids are regular in submitting their homework?
• How many kids maintain their classworks neatly?
• Do children concentrate in the class?
• Do kids have a reasonably high motivation level to learn math?

The survey went on and I thought that the conclusions may have a bearing on other classes too. An alarming number of children were not sure of multiplication tables. But the teacher was hardly in a position to devote time for drilling math tables. We decided to take the help of parents. We called and asked them to insist on their children to learn the tables. The parents were eager to extend a helping hand. The deadline too was set. The teachers followed up the progress of the kids in the class.

The result was remarkable. The message to the children was clear.They understood that they won't be let off scotfree if they don't learn.

If somehow the children miss learning a basic tool in school, it has to be made good at home. The school should never hesitate to ask parents to extend a helping hand wherever necessary. The parents too must be ever willing to extend a helping hand to the school staff to bring out the best in their kids.

How to enable kids overcome shyness?

Do you know 40% of the children are shy by nature? Shyness in adults can be traced to their childhood.

Shy children do not like to participate in co-curricular activities and group discussions. They like to stay aloof. They try to remain on the fringes whenever they have to join others at play.

It is not that easy to identify shy children. Often their parents and teachers may be unaware of it. Many bullies may be actually shy and aggressiveness may be a cover up.

My neighbour the five year old Anil doesn't like to talk to guests at all. But he gets into the kitchen or bedroom and starts kicking all the objects there.

Never label your kids as shy. Children may start behaving diffrently then. Shy people are their own worst critics. Shy children don't like criticism they seek encouragement.

12 year old Mira was shy by nature. She was not interested in co-curricular activities. She was almost an isolate. Her parents approached me. After a detailed study of the case, I came to the decision that the child was in her own make believe world. She had maintained all her notebooks neat and clean. In studies she was above average. I was determined to bring her to the main stream somehow. I discussed the matter with her parents She was assigned the job of tutoring another child in the neighbourhood. She was successful in that. The respect she earned boosted her ego. There onwards she never looked back.

Classroom teachers can play a wonderful role in this regard. I used to ask shy children only such questions for which I was sure they knew the answer. Then they would be comfortable in answering before the class.

Get playmates into your home instead of sending the child to play in somebody's house. They can be younger than your child. Then your child will be able to play a lead role without much hesitation.

Enroll your children in clubs and organisations which suit their interests.

Your support and understanding nature play a vital role in enabling them shed their shyness.

Is your child gifted?

Talented children are a challenge as well as a mystery. They give their parents and teachers a taste of genius. Such children need to be seen in a fresh light. Whatever be the talent - sports, maths, art, dance, music, oratory - they deserve to be nurtured well.

If the schools fail to recognise their special talent, they may begin to hate the school. Give them tasks in fields where they are strong. May be Smitha has long artistic fingers! Get her a sketch pad, water colours and brushes. Appreciate her work and encourage her to explore her abilities in that field. Satwik might have nimble fingers that are dance on the organ keys. Present him an musical organ

Kids spend most of their time in play. Let them enjoy - that is how they sharpen their intellect, learn to cope up with situations and develop their potential in skill management.

Gifted children need a lot of exposure to the outside world. If you want child's talents to flourish, you have to devote lot of time. Ensure constant support to the child in the special field of activity.

What children need the most is love. Make sure the child is really happy. Be a facilitator and provide for the needed resources. Take the child to people who may be of help. Let the child see other people at work. He or she may draw inspiration from that.

At times the school staff may not co-operate to the expected level. They may face the brunt of impossible questions from the child. Their extra-ordinary behaviour may baffle the administration. But if you liaise, things may turn to be different.

Let your kid have plenty of friends and other interests too. This will insure against possible disappointments.

How to bring up your dream child ?

Children are the future of our families. They are the flag bearers of tomorrow's world. We forget our kids in our busy schedule. Parents should be prepared to devote quite an amount of time for the upbringing of their kids. Some of the major responsibilities of the parents have been detailed out here below for a quick reference :

• Meet all the basic needs of your children.
• Make home and school a happy place.
• Provide them space to play, work, create and enjoy.
• Remember they need time for free play.
• Be their role models.
• Get them needed playthings, books and all other requirements.
• Be impartial while dealing with kids.
• Expose them to a wider environment -Give them relevant information.
• Provide them with a variety of stimuli. Give concrete experiences.
• Pay attention to house keeping.
• Devote time for play with your child.
• Find something to praise - Be positive in your approach.
• Teach them the right habits and values. Develop positive thinking.
• Establish an atmosphere of trust. Respect their privacy.
• Step in their shoes and act. Choose their peer groups carefully.
• Lookout for major personality changes. Keep track of the growth and development of your children.

Refrain from the following :

• Laughing at inappropriate behaviour.
• Subjecting them to solitary confinement or leaving kids alone in the house.
• Punishing children physically or groundless threatening.
• Having too many taskmasters.
• Dependence on servants.
• Labeling the child.
• Subjecting the child to adverse stimuli.
• Starving the child.
• Inconsistent behaviour on the part of the parents.
• Instant meeting of all demands.
• Leveling sarcastic remarks and repeated nagging.
• Goading the child with guilt or fear.
• Parents quarreling in the presence of the child.